themediamademecrazy.com

the cover to The Charisse Collection UNCENSORED DVD was designed to emulate the cover for Michael Jackson NUMBER ONES.

from MTV: one world, one image, one channel

The dam broke with Michael Jackson in 1983. Jackson was a major pop superstar by this point and had just released the album Thriller featuring the song “Billie Jean.” Jackson was a CBS recording artist and CBS executives wanted the video on MTV in order to promote the album. It is rumored that when MTV refused to air the video(claiming that it did not fit their rock format), CBS threatened to pull all of their other artists’ videos off of MTV’s rotation (Kaplan 74). CBS recording artists composed approximately 25% of the videos shown on the network including Pink Floyd and Journey. The tiny network had no option but to air the video, which turned out to be one of the greatest things that ever happened for MTV. This forced breakdown of MTV’s initial narrow structure resulted in the explosion of MTV and Michael Jackson’s solo career. The video propelled Jackson into the homes of millions of Americans and his resulting popularity solidified MTV as a musical force. Since then, MTV has embraced artists of all colors and genres.

from MTV: one world, one image, one channel

The dam broke with Michael Jackson in 1983. Jackson was a major pop superstar by this point and had just released the album Thriller featuring the song “Billie Jean.” Jackson was a CBS recording artist and CBS executives wanted the video on MTV in order to promote the album. It is rumored that when MTV refused to air the video (claiming that it did not fit their rock format), CBS threatened to pull all of their other artists’ videos off of MTV’s rotation (Kaplan 74). CBS recording artists composed approximately 25% of the videos shown on the network including Pink Floyd and Journey. The tiny network had no other option but to air the video, which turned out to be one of the greatest things that ever happened for MTV. This forced breakdown of MTV’s initial narrow structure resulted in the explosion of MTV and Michael Jackson’s solo career. The video propelled Jackson into the homes of millions of Americans and his resulting popularity solidified MTV as a musical force. Since then, MTV has embraced artists of all colors and genres. The first music video to feature and interracial coulple, Duran Duran’s video “Hungry Like the Wolf,” aired in 1984 and was celebrated by audiences nationwide.

I’m at home watching the LA Lakers Parade going on now from Staples Center in Downtown LA. Currently leaving to head to the LA Memorial Coliseum adjacent to USC. I opted to skip going to campus for work today. It feels good. I’m not a general active lakers fan, but I will finally admit to being a LA girl. For years I defined myself as “a NY girl living in LA.” But today, after traveling this route daily and sharing the experience with my neighbors, students, and every other LA resident, I think I’m an LA girl.

Mayor Villaragosa is with Kobe!

this evening i decided to straighten my hair for the first time in 4 years. while working through the knots, i was struck by a very familiar moment…

“damn this girl’s hair.”

i heard my mother’s voice as i sprayed the ends with detangler and ensured that each strand had just the right amount of luster’s pink lotion. it made me think. does michelle obama brush sasha and malia’s hair in the mornings? if so, does that mean that michelle obama’s voice can be heard in the white house cursing their hair? awesome.

yet another reason to love the obamas: they’d make a great sitcom. bill cosby could produce.

Dear Ms. Charisse L’pree Corsbie-Massay:

Congratulations!  The Degree Progress Department is pleased to inform you that your Master of Arts in Psychology degree has been conferred and posted to your academic transcript at the University of Southern California.  The conferral date of your degree is May 15, 2009.

Degree Progress Department
University of Southern California

i’m trying to collate my thought into one place. does anyone know how to download all of my posts that i’ve created through wordpress. i can only seem to find the database of the items i’ve uploaded, but not content created through wordpress.

i usually cannot stand facebook quizzes. but every so often there’s a good one; i quite enjoyed “what crazy bitch are you” (sylvia plath), but didn’t like “what r&b diva are you” (jill scott)…

“what inner nationality are you” caught me because for quite long i have been considering leaving the states, just to get away from this nearing 30-year immersion. the quiz itself includes all sorts of interesting social psychological measures including attachment to one’s mother, individualistic vs. collectivist cultural tendencies, as well as concepts of the self and other. i encourage you to check it out.

turns out i’m an american at heart. i’ve come to grips with it.

http://apps.facebook.com/whatisyourtrueinnern/

my diagnosis:

“You are highly competitive and highly independent, although you also have an easygoing and spontaneous nature. In order to hide and mitigate just how badly you want to win, you have developed a thick veneer of friendliness — in order to lull your opponents into a false sense of security, yes, but also in order to actually tame your own natural blood lust, and most of the time it even works. Because you are so mobile and ever-changing, your friendships are always in flux, and the people who are your oldest friends may or may not accompany you all the way through life. Probably not.”

this monday i drove my car to USC and parked on vermont. i was in the building for 2 hours and when i returned (slightly worried about getting a ticket), there was a 8×11, bright orange flier on my car advertising tax preparation. every car on vermont had fallen victim. when i reached my car, i pulled the flier from under my windshield wiper and let it fall under my car. usually, i would toss it in my car and put it in the trash later, however, i was tired of picking up other people’s litter. this tax preparer hired someone to affix litter to my car! and when that litter hits the ground and officially becomes litter, am i the litterer? it was still litter when it was on the hood of my car! and the name of the perpetrator is on the piece of litter!

in short, car fliers should be considered illegal. paper does not become litter when it hits the ground, its litter when it becomes unwanted.  furthermore, the guilty parties write their name and number on the piece of litter. maybe next time i will collect all of them and dump the litter at their place of business.

because this is technically an endeavor about the role of media in constructing the psychology of self, i figured i should include my most recent exciting media moment. i posted this movie review of coraline (in 3D) on facebook.

“absolutely amazing in 3D. much like speed racer in IMAX, i don’t know if i could give it such an enthusiastic thumbs up had i see in it in standard film format. the 3D effects were used to immerse the audience in the story, instead of simply as a gimmick. well played.”

i don’t usually post movie comments on this site, however, the experience of current 3D technology has inspired me to expand my content. allow me to elaborate on my aforementioned coraline experience…

last weekend was the last weekend to catch coraline in 3D that, according to leonard maltin, “was the best movie [he’d ever seen] in 3D.” although 3D has yet to improve on the mild headache induced by the glasses, i was very impressed with its use naratively in the film. the stereoscopic-ness was employed to create a realistic environment. coraline as a film was exciting and really demonstrated an awareness of creepy family films that came before it (e.g., beetlejuice, nightmare before christmas, pan’s labyrinth).

i suppose i should admit here that i am easily scared and, despite my “grown person” status, i was scared at some point in all of the aforementioned films. with coraline, however, the fear response that i experienced was definitely more visceral due to, i believe, the effect of 3D, and this sensation increased over the course of the film as the narrative heightens the suspension of disbelief.
without spoiling the film, coraline is forced to crawl through a tunnel that looks very much like human intestines; as she is chased through this tunnel, the music, the narrative tension, and the actual perceived depth of the tunnel all combined to create a strangely disturbing experience for a 28-year-old woman in the theater.

then again, i’m the person who cried at lilo & stitch in 2002.

i’m intrigued as to other’s general experience with 3D films - do you actually perceive an increased sense of presence and physicality when watching a film in 3D? independent of the tricks like butterflies flying into and out of the screen, but is the overall experience of the film heightened?

so much has happened since my last post, i cannot begin to even cover it all, but i will do my best. november was a particularly difficult month. the love of my life, vinny, my 9 year old tabby, passed away 2 days before thanksgiving. we were together for 8 years and 10 months and he was, paws down, the best man in my life. i  was terribly heartbroken for weeks afterwards but tried to keep myself busy (an easy task given my workload). i went home for thanksgiving, which was bittersweet; the house seemed very empty without him.

i returned to LA for a few days to finish up the last of my work before departing on a 6-week, overland camping trip from nairobi to cape town. i didn’t think that i could spend 6 weeks sleeping in a tent, but i did, and i’m probably better for it. in fact, the first night sleeping in the test was the best night of sleep i had in months; i had no responsibilities or deadlines, i just had to take care of myself. i missed vinny hard during the first weeks, and kept picking his hairs off of my clothes and throwing them out the window. it was a strange sort of memorial, leaving his hairs across kenya, but it put a smile on my face. the trip was amazing a “life changing experience;” although i don’t feel particularly changed, i’ve tried to maintain my relaxed mentality from africa since my return to the states. truth be told, everything will get done, providing you relax and do it. internal stress is a modern phenomenon.

From namib naukluft park, namibia

i am in the process of posting a full diary at…
http://www.themediamademecrazy.com/charisseinafrica/

until then, the pictures are available at…
http://picasaweb.google.com/charisseinafrica

the trip was amazing: i saw all big 5 (elephants, rhinos, buffalos, lions and leopards), went horseback riding around lake malawi, walked with lions in zambia, took a microlight ride over victoria falls, jumped off of a gorge at the zambezi river, rode in a mokoro through the okavango delta, went skydiving and quad biking over the namibian desert, and drank wine in south africa. some parts were rough, some were simple, and i did not get malaria.

since returning to the states, i’ve been trying to get back into the swing of things, although its really felt like a holiday from my holiday. i was in LA for 2 weeks catching up on work, then spent a weekend in tampa for the SPSP conference (for which the trip was fully funded) and now i’m in NY spending time with family and friends before leaving to drive to SF with one of my best girlfriends.

as for media, i’ve been fairly detached. i spent most of my downtime in africa with my nose in a book; i didn’t speak to anyone at any length for the first 10 days, it was a delightful break from my own life and my own mind. i did not read newspapers or watch any news - i didn’t even know that there was a battle ensuing between israel and palestine until about a week after the fact. furthermore, i spent the time reading fiction (atlas shrugged, memoirs of a geisha, me talk pretty one day, the satanic verses, and a thousand splendid suns), albeit smart fiction, but a significant departure from my regular reading material.

i returned on january 20, just in time to watch the inaugural parties for obama, which was a delightful media return. its fun to be back in the states, its a new america, but it still smells the same.

this is the question that my research seeks to answer. however, apparently the onion beat me to it.

In The Know: Are Reality Shows Setting Unrealistic Standards For Skanks?

“the one drop rule is a historical colloquial term in the United States that holds that a person with any trace of African ancestry is considered black.”

although this narrow definition is no longer truly applicable as individuals now have the ability to identify with a number of groups and the concept of multiracial is no longer taboo. however, due to the dearth of researchers of color, the one drop rule emerges again in the academic realm, wherein one drop of non-white ancestry can come to define an individual and their work, especially in the fields of humanities and social sciences, resulting in a variety of outcomes.

one of the most pressing is the implicit responsibility to bring the topic of race to the table in seminars or discussion groups. i believe that this emerges from an academic (and cultural) desire towards multiculturalism and diversity. there is a sense of accomplishment that comes from the ability to “address all sides of an issue,” regardless of its validity. my point is really that this voice may speak even when distanced from the culture at hand. being raised by a single (mostly) chinese-caribbean mother, i am distanced from the black (read: african american) perspective that dominates the binary discussions around american politics, culture, and psychology. however, my social upbringing and research gives me the relative background to present *a* voice, if not necessarily *the* voice, and the aforementioned lack of diverse voices at the table leads me to vocalize my opinions, albeit with feelings of hesitancy because of my distanced perspective.

which leads to my second effect: the illusion of expertise. although i often feel that the one drop rule in academia is negative both for the individual and the discussion at hand, it affords the speaker some expertise, a strange position given the aforementioned hesitancy. suddenly, there is a person of color in the discussion, therefore they must have something important to say. i don’t consider this a positive aspect, it perpetuates a lack of progress similar to *not* having a person of color in the room, but everyone feels better about the decisions made due to the simple mention of alternative perspectives.

and this defines my overall impression of the one drop rule: although it gives the illusion of diversity and multiculturalism, true progress and perspective will only come from incorporating other voices (not just faces) in the discussion. diversity does not simply come from the existence of different colors, but from the mixing of different ideologies and perspectives. furthermore, researchers and academics will never be able to speak to the population at large because of this lack of diversity, a lack so great so as to expect *any* representation to be *the* representation. i had a conversation with a girlfriend of mine who studies video games regarding whether or not the experience of video games can ever speak to “minority” audiences if there is no representation of these groups at the development level. much like video games for girls, the development industry is dominated by white middle class men who cannot conceive of what will sell to girls or consumers of color; until we can encourage children of all backgrounds to pursue degrees in electrical engineering, computer science, and other necessary academic fields, components of our culture (video games *and* academia) will remain foreign and beyond their reach.

it is important to note that being a minority in a given group describes an experience that may be similar across various identity groups (e.g., women in science, or a boy raised in the Bronx as the secretary of state in the white house); individuals in these positions feel an overwhelming urge to explain and represent their minority experiences, while simultaneously trying to blend into the larger group and subdue their personal differences.

however, the academic one drop rule is special insomuch that multiracial individuals straddle multiple identifications, that is to say, that despite your personal identity as mixed, your department may identify you as black, thus categorizing you regardless of your own identification. i found this issue quite prevalent in the USC process; the fellowship application that i completed asked to “check one box” and did not offer an “other” or “mixed” option. i was shocked, as this was the application for the “diversity fellowship” which only emphasized USC’s need for actual diversity, not just color representation.

i apologize for my absence, but my current state of affairs deserves some comment…
it has been a long time since i have posted anything on this site. life has been very busy but moving in a good direction. this summer i worked in my lab, worked as a graduate assistant for the mcnair program at USC, and completed my masters thesis (technically to be submitted on monday). i also moved into a new spot about 4 blocks away from my old place. same neighborhood, infinitely better building. i was done with the old one anyway.

in my new apartment, i do not have a television [i’ll give you a minute to catch your breath]. i was tired of the clunky 8sqft cube of a TV that i had in my old spot, and it was flat screen or nothing. i was excited; but the day after i moved in, i rubbed my car against a pole in my new parking lot resulting in about $5000 worth of damage. the TV got postponed.

i like living without a television. i have a projector for movies and video games [you haven’t lived until you have played guitar hero on a 10ft screen] and my building has a media room with cable. its nice to be distanced from TV; i still go down to the media room to watch important things like the olympics and the presidential debates, and i dose a little at the gym, but my life has been strangely de-media-fied.

on that note, i listen to more internet radio now. i have started listening to NPR and KPCC (NPR out of pasadena community college). its entertaining stuff. i’ve never been a fan of talk radio, i don’t like people talking at me and not being a part of the conversation - but i find it relaxing to be an observer.

although i’m getting a little sick of media in any form [TV, Radio, Internet, NYTimes, Facebook] as it is inundated with political mumbo-jumbo. i am beginning to believe that there is nothing else going on in the world. thank heavens for the economist; their format ensures a discussion of other continents. furthermore, their political logic really speaks to me and addresses the issues that i find in the media that, of course, the media never talks about.

i’ve always tried not to take sides regarding politics. in the words of stan marsh, “I’d better get used to having to pick between a douche and a turd sandwich because it’s usually the choice I’ll have.” however, the 2008 election makes me wish i was a dedicated voter, because the crap that keeps coming out of the television is starting to drive me crazy. but i’ll save that for its own posting. if i were dedicated to one party, i could be excited for it; instead, now i’m just cynical about both…

moving on. i’ve been reading infidel by ayaan hirsi ali, an amazing story about a woman born in somalia struggling against the political turmoil and the muslim brotherhood. its phenomenal and offers perspective in our old, big spending, do nothing, me first, country second Washington crowd…

wait. nevermind.

i had an interesting conversation this weekend with someone who is related to a whistle blower in the whitewater affair. we discussed the personality characteristics of the clintons and the clinton machine; they can get very ugly when anyone creates speedbumps to their plan, but i think that we are all aware of these tendencies. in general, i have defended hillary’s conniving nature as expectant of the US president. furthermore, i still believe that the characteristics that have been heralded as necessary for president are often defined as bitchy, which works against hillary. however, i had an epiphany this morning…

i really don’t think that anything is going to change. i understand that this is a historical election, but i really don’t think that the system will change, and if this is the case, then i think hillary will be a better president to maneuver through the preexisting bureaucratic structure. however, i understand that only the voters can create change, in which case, obama offers the promise of change. but i question his ability to retain this idealistic stance once faced with the trials of the system. in addition, i think that his distinct negative shift in his pennsylvania campaign under the stress of the election offers evidence to my point.

in addition, he claims to be running a “clean campaign,” which apparently means that he refuses to “go negative” in attacking his opponent. however, when asked about clinton’s bosnia fiasco, he said…

OBAMA: And, you know, I haven’t commented on the issue of Bosnia. You know, I…

STEPHANOPOULOS: Your campaign has.

OBAMA: Of course. But the — because we’re asked about it.

Which begs the question, is the candidate a separate entity from their campaign?

i watched the debate on wednesday night in pennsylvania and i must admit that it was fairly unimpressive. perhaps because i’m so inundated with this primary process, the candidates have simply become parodies of themselves. i know what obama is going to say before he opens his mouth, and i know that hillary is going to attack him for it. since then, he’s been commenting that the debate did not get into the issues for 45 minutes, going on to chastise the debate process for focusing away from the issues with a desire to create controversy. however when they begin to discuss the issues, they only talk about issues that they agree upon. so what’s the point?

if we have nothing more to debate and you have no real issues on which to separate yourself from each other, then clearly you must separate yourself on character and an appeal to the affective component of the american people. that’s why you campaign. not because you’re looking to share your ideas, but instead to get people to rally and be emotionally drawn. obama should know that more than anyone. furthermore, in florida, where campaigning was prohibited as well as media ads, obama managed to run ads through an “oversight” in national television time purchasing, and he still lost. i think that this is indicative of obama’s need to to reach voters on an emotional level thereby bringing them over to his side (hillary as well, i would simply argue that more people had some affective response to her at baseline). alternatively, some would claim that “clinton” has name recognition whereas obama was less known… really? really? it seems since he announced his bid for presidency,  obama is one of the most popular names in american culture (granted, a manipulation over time):

research question: during this campaign season (january - denver), has barak obama been mentioned more times than hillary clinton; a content analysis of the names “hillary clinton”, “clinton”, “barak obama”, and “obama” across major news media (i suppose the easiest would be major print media). or a primetime section of major cable media from say 7-11pm over sample weeks from now until the primaries. i understand that news networks make a concerted effort to balance their time, but biases exist, and often they manifest on this subtle level

just a thought for everyone with all that free time.

I just finished reading an article in Time magazine entitled, “Liking What White People Like,” which is a commentary on the blog  “Stuff White People Like.” The author goes on to talk about the benefit of having White people critique/mock/endorse White culture. However, as an individual of mixed heritage (Black and Chinese), the author finds herself in a quandary; she likes things that White people like!

She comes to grips with this racial divide over the course of the article, but her final conclusions leave much lacking. I truly enjoyed her postulation of what Mixed people like (“Having people guess their background… Pulling rank during conversations… Having ‘such good features’… Filling out applications”), especially since she admits, “these are things that mixed people say they hate… but secretly like.”

My qualm comes with the creation of Stuff That Mixed People Like; I think that it denies exactly what makes Multiethnic individuals interesting: the fact that no two multi-ethnics are alike. Not only is the community comprised of mixed ethnicity members, regardless of blend, but also their upbringing creates drastic differences between individuals, making group descriptions even more difficult. For example, how different would Barak Obama (everyone’s current favorite multiethnic) if his parents were switched and he was raised by a single Kenyan mother? How different would his upbringing or chances have been then? There is no single definition of multi-ethnics, or what they like, just the fact that they are multi-ethnic.

PS: Barak Obama is not #1 on my Stuff That Mixed People Like, its Prince.

obama supporter, texas state senator kirk watson was unable to state ANY of obama’s accomplishments in the senate on ‘hardball with chris matthews.” it’s a remarkable piece of footage, right down to the studio laughter in the end. somewhat painful to watch, but necessary…

however, i would also like to post the question: when did “white voters” become a significant demographic? weren’t they always just referred to as “voters”? i love progress.

i was debating on even voting at all, since a default vote is not appropriate during the primaries… i could explain this to you or you could just watch the video on realnews.com

after the democratic debate in south carolina on martin luther king jr. day, i was prompted to create a fun game to spice up the future debates, although they’re getting pretty feisty as is. introducing: debate bingo!

on each of these 6 cards, catch phrases and major subjects are categorized by candidate. when any of the candidates mention a phrase, you get the square! is a 6×6 design (i apologize for any of you who will miss the center square), which may take a little longer, but they’re pretty long debates [smile]. these cards are specially tilted towards the california debates on cnn, thursday, january 31.

they are all self explanatory, but just a few clarifications…

“green” is in reference to green technology, or green collar jobs. or any use of the term “green” as an adjective implying eco-friendliness
“i met a (wo)man in…” is a nod to any anecdotal story they recite about everyday americans that they meet on the campaign trail whose story “really touches” and “embodies the goals of this campaign.”
“day one” is specifically in references to the first day of the presidency
i think you can figure out the banter that requires a “he/she said” moment.

if there are any confusions, work them out with your fellow viewers, i leave content validation for your discussion.

also, much love to nick saponara for the graphic design. by the way, he recommends that you use pennies to mark your squares. i think i want to get a little donkey stamp.

stay tuned for the republican cards (california debate on cnn, wednesday january 30).

Democratic Debate Bingo Cards
Click to download all 6!

i’ve put a lot of thought into this one and i find it terribly frustrating that the term “urban” is equated with “black.” i understand the desperate need for political correctness in the white male dominated field of advertising, but this connection has since drifted into the black community and is used in self definitions. i keep getting invitations from the LA Urban League Young Professionals, where ‘urban’ is synonymous with black. unfortunately, i do not generally identify as black and i definitely do not need to put myself in a situation where i have to describe my ethnic background in order to achieve some level of acceptance. furthermore, i cannot bring friends of mine who i would define as ‘urban young professionals’ who are not black for fear of their discomfort.

it seems that ‘urban’ should be synonymous with a multiracial community as the most amazing component of city life (as i see it) is people from different backgrounds, cultures, and classes, living in such close proximity. this leads to knowledge, tolerance, and above all, diversity; but i suppose this perspective is inherently NY, while LA stands in direct opposition: people from different backgrounds, cultures, and classes, living distally and without any interaction, leading to ignorance, racism, and even greater disengagement from the larger community.

i was recently asked by a professor to answer the following questions: (1) what is the nature of human nature? (2) what is the proper social order? (3) is equality possible?
here are my answers, might you have a response?

1. What is the nature of human nature?

Humans are animals and therefore human nature is inherently animalistic. However, humans pride themselves on their ability to distinguish themselves from the animal kingdom thus creating civilization (and clothing), therefore, their legacy is much more than simply genetic. Human nature understands how posterity (i.e. other humans) will judge their actions and temper their behavior accordingly, be it positive or negative) to ensure some level of immortality. The concept of the Selfish Gene (Dawkins) extends to the selfish meme; we will kill for our ideology, be it an economic system or religion. The nature of human nature is to perpetuate oneself both genetically and ideologically.
NOTE: Strangely, we feel no need to leave our mark on the world outside of our species, a task that requires much more than simply ideas as the written word is exclusive to humans.

2. What is the proper social order?

Social order is an essential part of a community, regardless of species. We are social animals and demand some level of sociality to survive and flourish. However, I am uncertain as to what the proper order is. One might argue that the strongest and most capable should be at the top, making general decisions for the betterment of the group. However, this becomes difficult and cumbersome when groups expand to countries. Therefore, I assume that the proper social order occurs within small communities with common goals and aspirations, at which point, the hierarchy becomes tangible and each individual does not feel like simply a cog in the machine, but rather and active part of the community.

3. Is equality possible?

Equality on paper (and even in practice) is very possible, however to achieve equality in the mind is a futile task. Each individual and community of individuals must isolate themselves from the group in order to develop a sense of self. And this separation breeds feelings of superiority (ego enhancement). I think that an excellent example is the transition of racist ideology in America. In reality, there has been very little change within the minds of individuals around the country, but their actions are tempered based on the expectation of equality, thus giving the illusion of equality. This does not equal actual equality. For me, this was the most shocking part of reading Invisible Man (1952) by Ralph Ellison; so many of his statements are still so pertinent to today’s race relations, 55 years later.

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it’s for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn’t gift giving, it’s the white people version of looting.

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There’s a reason you don’t talk to people for 25 years. Because you don’t particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days — mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don’t eat anything that’s served to you out a window unless you’re a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy’s chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Lobster?

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged . I have a better description for these kids: ‘Lucky bastards.’

New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you’re a dope. If you’re a kid, the cards are keep sakes of your idols. If you’re a grown man, they’re pictures of men.

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here’s how much men care about your eyebrows: Do you have two of them? Good, we’re done.

New Rule:There’s no such thing as flavored water. There’s a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but, without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That’s your flavored water.

New Rule: Stop screwing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that’s square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a ‘decaf grandee, half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n’-Low, and One NutraSweet,’ ooooh, you’re a huge asshole.

New Rule: I’m not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering My PIN number, pressing ‘Enter,’ verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don’t want Cash back, and pressing ‘Enter’ again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn’t make you Spiritual. It’s right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to ‘beef with broccoli.’ The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren’t pregnant. You’re not spiritual. You’re just high.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn’t a sport. It’s one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN Recently televised the U.S. Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What’s next, competitive farting? Oh wait, they’re already doing that. It’s called ‘The Howard Stern Show.’

New Rule: I don’t need a bigger mega M&Ms. If I’m extra hungry for M&Ms, I’ll go nuts and eat two.

New Rule: If you’re going to insist on making movies based on crappy old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what’s playing on the other screens. Let’s remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn’t good enough to be a movie.

New Rule: And this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can’t even tell If he’s supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don’t want to be on your webcam, Dude. I just want to wash my hands

New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don’t need to hear ‘27 months.’ ‘He’s two’ will do just fine. He’s not a cheese. And I didn’t really care in the first place.

New Rule: If you ever hope to be a credible adult and want a job that pays better than Minimum wage, then for God’s sake don’t pierce or tattoo every available piece of flesh. If so, then plan your future around saying, ‘Do you want fries with that?’

this monday, i caught the zappa plays zappa show at the berkeley community theater up in norcal. it was awesome! dweezil was accompanied by ray white, and they played for about 3 hours. the performance was supplemented with videos featuring frank, in a very nat king/natalie cole sort of interaction. it was powerful to watch dweezil turn and play with his father. although the videos highlighted the difference between the two men. every time i see frank wail out a solo, he seems to get lost in it. i only got that feeling from dweezil 2, maybe 3, times, on tracks like carolina hardcore ecstasy and pygmy twylyte. but overall, the show felt great, the crowd was a mix of ages, all of which were excited to be there. thanks to dug for the tickets and his tommy-two-thumbs set list.

NOTE: before the show, we were watching meerkat manor, an anthropomorphized soap opera featuring meerkats in the kalahari on animal planet. the main troop (whiskers) encountered a rival troop known as the zappa, whose dominant male is named frank. it was delightfully perfect!

Dog Breath
City of Tiny Lites
Advance Romance
Dumb All Over
What’s New in Baltimore
Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy
Son of Suzy Creamcheese
Brown Shoes Don’t Make It
America Drinks and Goes Home
Pygmy Twylyte
Dupree’s Paradise
Heavy Duty Judy
[raccoon improv]
Dupree’s Paradise
Uncle Remus
Willie The Pimp
Joe’s Garage
Wind Up Workin’ In A Gas Station
San Ber’dino
The Illinois Enema Bandit
Wild Love
Yo Mama
encore:
Cosmik Debris
G-Spot Tornado
Muffin Man

http://www.zappaplayszappa.com/

today, south carolina announced that the state would move its primary to january 19 in response to florida’s recent shift, ensuring its role as the first primary in the south.

NYTimes: South Carolina G.O.P. Moves Up Primary

i’m excited for this primary leapfrog, i think that it keeps the the candidates on their toes. instead of skipping from state to state based on its position in the primary ranking, they must now focus on major issues that will speak to a national audience, changing minds through national media. of course there is the argument against a 9-month general election; that’ll suck pretty bad, but i can’t see how it would be worse than the current campaigning culture.

today i completed a feat that i had only dreamed about since moving to los angeles 3 years ago: riding my bike from downtown to venice beach. it is about 15 miles straight down venice blvd, and it took me just over an hour. when i arrived in venice, i realized that i had forgotten my wallet and had no bus fare in case of emergency. i placed a variety of semi-frantic messages to friends and found a hook up. i meandered north on the beach bike path to santa monica (another 3 miles or so) and decided to catch the express big blue bus.

after riding up as it pulled away, i got on a metro bus instead, but it was local. by the time we reached fairfax, i had been riding for about 45 minutes and realized that i could make it home much faster on my new marin san rafael city series. i hopped off (to the surprise of the bus driver as he knew my downtown destination) and cruised down fairfax to the grove and then rode my bike home down 3rd. another 10 miles or so.

in total, i rode my bike almost 30 miles today. it felt good. i think this will be my new saturday morning ritual. there are so many interesting things that you miss when you are zipping along in an automobile. for instance, there are 2 bowling alleys on venice, one of which has a roller rink (World On Wheels).

tonight’s premiere episode, “a clean escape,” starred sam waterson and judy davis as patient and psychiatrist, where the former cannot remember the past 24 years. it was interesting at best. disregarding the gaping plot holes (like where does he go when he leaves her office, or why has it taken 10 months to utilize what seems like the most probable solution?), the style of the program was poor. for me it began with davis’ character. a actress of 57 should be allowed to look 57; every close-up, especially her emotionally distraught ones, only offer further evidence that she is far to old for the role asked of her. it really prevents one from suspending disbelief.

furthermore, i think that the director put too much faith into the plot of the story and oversimplified the shooting, causing the entire project to collapse under poor visuals. in fact, i was much more interested in the story after listening to the dialogue on NPR (yeah, i listened to NPR yesterday… that’s another blog) than after watching the exact same scene.

however, i did commit to watching the whole episode and it generally improved from 2 1/2 to 3 stars (on a 5 star scale). but i have hope, and i will continue to watch the remaining 3 episodes, saturday nights in august at 10pm on abc.

Four thought-provoking tales of present and future Earth are brought to life in “Masters of Science Fiction,” an all-new anthology series featuring a stellar lineup of actors and directors, and narrated by acclaimed physicist Professor Stephen Hawking. The series premieres SATURDAY, AUGUST 4 (10:00-11:00 p.m., ET) on the ABC Television Network.

i was very excited for the final installment; although there were a few parts that fell flat, overall, i thought it was a great conclusion to the trials and tribulations of harry at hogwarts. having said that, i’ve heard quite a few complaints that the book was substandard and closed in a desperate manner that leaves the reader disappointed. i felt that the ending, “nineteen years later,” is less of a conclusion and more of a prompt. rowling has left 19 years for spin off books, television shows, and other stories to emerge. however, i can only hope that this is a nod to the millions of children worldwide who utilize the narrative to create their own fantasy world.

one of many online communities:

http://www.harrypotterfanfiction.com/

according to henry jenkins in “convergence culture” fan culture is an essential part of any good media franchise and offers the reader a chance to become deeply involved in the story and the characters. there are 19 years to fill with adventures and magic, this was not lost on rowling or the publishers. and like any good series, the character will always survive, and live happily ever after.

’saved by the bell’ (1989-1993) was one of the best integrations of race, class and gender that i’ve seen on television and decades ahead of its time. granted, children’s programs tend to integrate race effortlessly, because children will be children. however, after living in LA, i realize that it is not as simple as SBTB would lead one to believe. allow me to elaborate…

the main cast is multi ethnic: of the 6 main characters, half are white (zach, kelly, screech) while the other half are ‘of color’ (slater, jesse, lisa). although this may seem evident to the viewer, the narratives never highlighted their races or made that part of the discussion (despite living in southern california in the late 80s). the text tended to focus more on class and the trials and tribulations that come from teens dealing with these all-too-real differences: lisa is a shop-aholic, which clashes with her best friend kelly’s large family and spendthrift demands. for the other characters, class is less of an issue, although zach never sees his father because he is working and it takes a car accident to bring them together.

the characters are intended to be a slice of the american high school system (a classic tool of TV and film): the cool guy, the geek, the jock, the american sweetheart, the spoiled daddy’s girl, and the nerd/smart chick. this last category is also what draws me to the program. the smart chick, jesse spano, is both of questionable ethnicity (which is also never mentioned in the program) and remarkably attractive. she even lands the jock! it gives hope to all of us sexy smart chicks who question our own attractiveness. as for the gender reading, jesse was clearly a feminist, a label that many place on women who are too smart, too strong, or too driven. however, jesse was all of these things AND feminine. she was a feminine feminist, an elusive moniker that i try to advocate.

in short, i think that i am better off for watching ’saved by the bell’ at a key point in my development, as compared to other programs that were popular at the time, like baywatch, or melrose place.

the month of june was hellish, but everything that had to get done did get done and now we are into july. the summer is zipping along, but my july will be relatively relaxing (fingers crossed). i am going hiking with girlfriends, chillin’ in the bay area, reading books, and cruising through my netflix queue. today i will be watching my first hitchcock film, vertigo.

at the end of the month, i will be returning to NY for 11 days to celebrate the wedding of two very special people, the birthday of one of my favorite comedians, and the opportunity to not do my laundry. until then, get ready LA.

tomorrow is still technically SPORT DEATH DAY. nestled among a historical week of tragedies (virginia, oklahoma, waco, columbine), i understand the potential arguments for and against “sporting death.” however, for those of us who are in the know, we are aware that this phrase, this symbol, and (what i had hoped for) the day has the potential to be a show of support, individuality, and nerd power. having said that, i will be wearing my pin, [and i did put those in the mail this week for anyone that requested them (see pictures)] but perhaps wearing SPORT DEATH to work may make life difficult for my fellow haüsmates.

so if you do choose to sport death tomorrow, please do so with love and in memoriam. do send pictures if you can, and i still intend for this to be an annual day. and i hope to see even more pictures next year.

SPORT DEATH DAY

NOTE: i suppose this is less of an issue for those of you on campus, but if it is, i’d love to hear about it. cause there are a lot of folks at MIT that just don’t get it.

prince’s half time show was the most amazing thing i’ve seen on television in a long time. it was beautiful, shocking, revolutionary, soft and wet. i’ve been raving about it for 24 hours and i’ve gotten some repeated comments:

1. “you know they fill the field with prince fans so that they can get footage of girls crying…”

duh. that does not negate a phenomenal performance. he had over 50,000 people in the stands singing along, not to mention the audiences at home, and around the world. i’m aware of the techniques, (raises into snobbish tone) i have a degree in television theory.

2. “half the crowd went to the bathroom anyway.”

well then they are damn fools. to walk away from a show like that. prince is a living legend, that’s like saying, “no thanks, i’m not interested in seeing ravi shankar, sir paul mccartney, and bebe king perform for free. i’ve got to use the restroom.”

more importantly, i am always affected when i know that the majority of the homes in the united states are watching and listening to the same thing that i am right now. only the lucky ones can feel the way i do too.

henry jenkins, my undergraduate media studies advisor and long time friend, recently posted on his blog…

5 Things You Don’t Know About Me

its a chain blog; someone posts a blog “5 things you don’t know about me,” in response to someone else, then demands the same from 5 of their friends. although i think chain mail is pretty lame, this might be awesome. i was not included in henry’s original five, but i felt inspired to respond to it anyway. since it should be written as a response to the sender, these are specifically five things that henry does not know about me. but as a blog chain, i post it for all my readers.

i must mention that i met prof jenkins when i was 16, as a freshman at mit. he is the housemaster at senior house, my habitat and habit from 1998-2003 and in the past nine years, he has been a part of my academic and personal life. there are very few things about me that he does not know, like how i cry when i’m frustrated, that i bleached my hair blonde for four days in 2000, and that the most important man in my life is a 22lb italian furball from long island. so after much thought, here we go…

1. in christmas 1988, my cousins got a nintendo entertainment system (you know the kind that came with mario brothers and duck hunt on the same cartridge?). it was the first time i actually played a video game. when my cousin killed her last man, i kicked my foot out and a toothpick left over from dinner went straight up my heel. i passed out screaming and crying. my relationship with video games has never been quite right.

2. during my freshman year at mit, a friend of mine and i used to get drunk and sneak into kresge ice rink to go skating at midnight. there isn’t much else to the story, just keep trying until you find the right door. the space is empty, the echo is deep, and the late night lighting is as smooth and serene as the ice.

3. i’m really good at doing my own nails. at one point in my childhood, i wanted to be a manicurist. it seemed like such a simple, yet fun job, bringing pleasure to other people. and i was good at it. i suppose this is related to my periodic thoughts about being an exotic dancer and a porno director… but henry has probably figured that out by now.

4. my old man crush is steve martin. some women like sean connery or patrick stewart. jeremy irons is a good one too. but for me, i like steve martin. i always have. there is something about a man that can make me laugh just by walking into a room. some of my first memories are reruns of steve on saturday night live. senior year of high school, i had a bit part in his play “Picasso at the Lapin Agile;” it was awesome and i keep meaning to read more of his written work. even after “bringing down the house,” steve martin could have me any day of the week.

mmm… i did really love ed bradley though…

5. in high school, a friend of mine decided that “charisse” required too much effort, and in 9th grade, i got dubbed with the nickname “CC” (sometimes spelt “CiCi” or “CeCe”). at first i loved it; i grew up hating my name and believing that a nickname meant that you were accepted into a group. i answered to it for about 2 years, but one night at ebersole ice rink, i snapped. i thought that “CC” sounded too much like a barbie doll name and, like every other 15 year old girl, i was never going to be a barbie, therefore i hated everything about her. i cussed out my friends and adamantly refused to answer to “CC”. since then, i’ve come to appreciate my name, its novelty, and my attachment to it. i haven’t had a nick name since, just aliases…

now for one thing that i didn’t know about me…

i’m the second in henry’s top 16 friends on myspace!

http://www.myspace.com/henryjenkins

to continue my blog, i’m going to request a response from 5 people with blogs, but please note that i’m eager to hear anyone and everyone’s responses!

teresa fazio, ian kreisberg, dan mcanulty, becca maglathlin, rene ruiz

in dick cheney’s exclusive interview with wolf blitzer on wednesday (the day after the president’s state of the union speech), wolf asked the vice president to comment on the fact that his lesbian daughter, mary, is pregnant without a husband. dick refused to answer the question, stating that it was “out of line.”

i found that remarkably offensive; he claims that this should not be part of the discussion, but it was he and his religious fervor that raised this issue and submitted it to american debate. he should have to answer since he forced his ideology into other people’s homes. his family should NOT be exempt.

said during the hearings last week that america is both the problem and the solution in iraq. it was the most perfect comment i’ve heard yet about this war. and i really didn’t think that it was possible to be both the problem and the solution, in any situation, but its true.

so what now?

i read a great article last week entitled “not with eddie” in the LA weekly about an experience that seems appropriate in los angeles: the deconstruction of idols.

LA is the origin and endpoint of the american dream, or at least one very large, well-lit facet of it. it is all to common to spot celebrities around town, however, when they are no longer surrounded by paparazzi, models, and millions of crooning fans, we continue to frame them like posters on a wall.

two years ago, i was working at the children’s hospital los angeles (CHLA). while walking through the halls, i spotted and elderly, disheveled man walking towards me. he wore a beat up army jacket that was far too large for his frame, and his wrinkled face peeked out from a wool cap that seemed to engulf his head. i thought to myself, “that’s strange, i wouldn’t expect a homeless person wandering through the hospital.”

as we approached each other, i noticed he was looking very intently at me; as we got closer, i watched him give me the up/down. i was uncomfortable, but intrigued, and i couldn’t look away from his face. just as we passed each other, it clicked…

oh shit… that’s bob dylan.

i turned around and stared as he continued his walk down the hall. it was then i noticed that he was accompanied by two young women (under 30) and two small children. when i got to the office, i said to my boss, “i just saw bob dylan!” she informed me that his 2-year-old child was a patient.

go bob.

read “not with eddie.”

this weekend, i went to lake tahoe with some friends of mine for my annual snow sports vacation. this was my second attempt at snowboarding and despite my intimate acquaintance with the snow, i was told that i made amazing progress.

in the afternoon i felt confident and ventured out on my own. at first i took the easy blue/hard green track. then i traveled up to the caples crest traverse by accident. my lift mates commented on my balls at the attempt. i should have known better. i took a nasty spill and twisted my leg in a direction its not supposed to go. now i’m at home nursing my sprained ankle and a twisted knee. i hope it heals quickly, i’m eager to try again this season in socal. anyone interested?

see picures here:
snowboarding in lake tahoe

today i will be starting a new job at the pershing square ice rink in downtown los angeles as a rink guard. i’m pretty freaking excited! here’s me lacing up… come visit when you can. my shift will start proper next week.

i had an amazing evening tonight. i went out with some folks from high school who are really doing amazing things. its really fun to chat with these folks, especially back home; they’ve known me through a variety of stages, and missed quite a few others. however, tonight we were hanging out and a memory hit me like a wall of bricks. a not so proud memory, but clearly one of importance in my wild and crazy youth. and i conveyed it to my friend…

“do you remember…”

for future reference, if you are ever going to start a story with the phrase ” do you remember…” i highly recommend you stop, walk over to the person, and whisper it in their ear. i related this memory to my friend in a booming voice, and in reality he was only 5 feet away from me. the true embarrassment was when i realized that his father (who is actually very cool, but still a father), who i thought was upstairs, was on the other side of the door. [sigh].

i suppose this is a problem that i’ve always had, i don’t always recognize the volume of my voice, especially when i get excited, or a memory comes into my brain and out of my mouth with very little filtering. which, mind you, happens quite often.

it’s something i need to work on. and i suppose the first step is to admit it out loud. nice and booming. i have a flaw that embarrasses me regularly, and it is remarkably unrelated to media.

i don’t even know how to calculate that.

a day in the life of an american revolutionary youth…

i hate the holidays. i despise the commercialization of christmas. but most of all, i can’t stand the repeated messages of how i’m *supposed* to feel during this time of year. commercial after commercial, various companies ask me if my man is buying me a diamond, how i deal with the craziness of family gatherings, and the feeling of being kissed under the mistletoe. well here you go best buy… i don’t have a man, my family is in the process of suing each other and pretending the others don’t exist, and i’ve never been kissed under the mistletoe.

but i’m not bitter.

today i got decked out in my mit best, brass rat, brass belt buckle, and sweatshirt. i had an exam in statistics that i really wanted to ace so i tried to put myself in the right mindset and clothing. i went in and was done in about 45 minutes. i was the first to leave and the professor commented, “that was fast.” but i did the exam, i didn’t know what else to do and i wasn’t going to sit there reading the textbook.

i got a cup of coffee and relaxed for a minute. i went to the bus stop and as soon as the bus came, a lovely little old man turned to me and said…

“mit, that’s the best school in the country! best school in the world!”

i said…

“i know!”

i hope i passed my exam.

yesterday was one of the best afternoons ever! i took a renegade usc/mit alums/cool dudes team over to the cal tech “gradiators.” we dominated every event! well aside from the jerk-offs on the rugby team [wink]. here were our standings at the end of the day:

WIN Shangria
WIN Competitive Ball Toll (Beer Pong) - 3:1
WIN Waterballoon Battleship - 2:1
LOS Kickball (vs. Rugby) - 4:9
WIN Red Rover - by forfeit
DIS Team Puzzle (vs. Rugby) - i think their still complaining about us taking the dance point, freestyle point, and yo mama’s point.
LOS Frisknock (vs. CNS)
WIN Obstacle Course

check out the mit/usc team pics here

there is a disconnect. an unsatisfied desire created by the intersection of what i want, what i need, and what i am led to believe that i want and need.

i just wanted to share.

should hilary run? obama? mccain?

all of these seem like very reasonable, educated choices. however, i find them all to be second to the one woman who could take, recuperate, and permenantly change the white house, our political system, and our culture.

oprah for president in 2008

although she has already claimed that she will not run, i am touched by the movement that is quickly gaining ground. check out one of the websites here:

Oprah for President - 2008
Michael Moore’s Draft Petition

and you can buy t-shirts here:

T-shirts by Patrick Crowe

for part 2, click here