themediamademecrazy.com

i had an amazing evening tonight. i went out with some folks from high school who are really doing amazing things. its really fun to chat with these folks, especially back home; they’ve known me through a variety of stages, and missed quite a few others. however, tonight we were hanging out and a memory hit me like a wall of bricks. a not so proud memory, but clearly one of importance in my wild and crazy youth. and i conveyed it to my friend…

“do you remember…”

for future reference, if you are ever going to start a story with the phrase ” do you remember…” i highly recommend you stop, walk over to the person, and whisper it in their ear. i related this memory to my friend in a booming voice, and in reality he was only 5 feet away from me. the true embarrassment was when i realized that his father (who is actually very cool, but still a father), who i thought was upstairs, was on the other side of the door. [sigh].

i suppose this is a problem that i’ve always had, i don’t always recognize the volume of my voice, especially when i get excited, or a memory comes into my brain and out of my mouth with very little filtering. which, mind you, happens quite often.

it’s something i need to work on. and i suppose the first step is to admit it out loud. nice and booming. i have a flaw that embarrasses me regularly, and it is remarkably unrelated to media.

i don’t even know how to calculate that.

a day in the life of an american revolutionary youth…

i hate the holidays. i despise the commercialization of christmas. but most of all, i can’t stand the repeated messages of how i’m *supposed* to feel during this time of year. commercial after commercial, various companies ask me if my man is buying me a diamond, how i deal with the craziness of family gatherings, and the feeling of being kissed under the mistletoe. well here you go best buy… i don’t have a man, my family is in the process of suing each other and pretending the others don’t exist, and i’ve never been kissed under the mistletoe.

but i’m not bitter.

today i got decked out in my mit best, brass rat, brass belt buckle, and sweatshirt. i had an exam in statistics that i really wanted to ace so i tried to put myself in the right mindset and clothing. i went in and was done in about 45 minutes. i was the first to leave and the professor commented, “that was fast.” but i did the exam, i didn’t know what else to do and i wasn’t going to sit there reading the textbook.

i got a cup of coffee and relaxed for a minute. i went to the bus stop and as soon as the bus came, a lovely little old man turned to me and said…

“mit, that’s the best school in the country! best school in the world!”

i said…

“i know!”

i hope i passed my exam.

yesterday was one of the best afternoons ever! i took a renegade usc/mit alums/cool dudes team over to the cal tech “gradiators.” we dominated every event! well aside from the jerk-offs on the rugby team [wink]. here were our standings at the end of the day:

WIN Shangria
WIN Competitive Ball Toll (Beer Pong) - 3:1
WIN Waterballoon Battleship - 2:1
LOS Kickball (vs. Rugby) - 4:9
WIN Red Rover - by forfeit
DIS Team Puzzle (vs. Rugby) - i think their still complaining about us taking the dance point, freestyle point, and yo mama’s point.
LOS Frisknock (vs. CNS)
WIN Obstacle Course

check out the mit/usc team pics here

there is a disconnect. an unsatisfied desire created by the intersection of what i want, what i need, and what i am led to believe that i want and need.

i just wanted to share.