emotion


These are my chronological reflections since Michael Jackson’s passing. A pair of wonderful angels named Mary and Russ invited me to the memorial today at Staples Center. Those pictures can be found here: http://tinyurl.com/charisseatMJs

Michael Jackson died on June 25, at 2:26 PST in Los Angeles, CA. At that moment, I was in Lansing, MI at a week-long course on research methods with diverse ethnic and racial participants. I received an email at 2:55 PM PST titled “Michael Jackson is DEAD.” At that moment, I felt my heart stop and panic overtook me. [tweet]

I felt like a small piece of me died. Until that moment, I never realized that there had always been a Michael Jackson dancing somewhere in my soul; an Energizer Bunny that kept me going. Suddenly the moon-walking in my heart stopped, and I was viscerally affected. I wanted to be anywhere but Lansing; I wanted to be in NY at the Apollo Theater or Times Square; I wanted to be in LA at his star on the Walk of Fame; I wanted to be at home in White Plains listening to albums with my mother. I cried and cried and finally managed to fall asleep.

Saturday morning, I arrived at the Lansing airport for my 7:40 flight back to LA. I was trying to avoid the negative commentary that people felt obligated to share in the media. But standing there in this dinky airport, I overheard two men (White) voicing their judgment of Michael Jackson. I clutched my Bible and avoided confronting them. I wanted to ask them, “What have you done for the world?” “How have you changed the lives of billions of people worldwide?” Furthermore, they knew damn well that they owned MJ albums and could attribute some very successful dates to his music. Instead, I walked away and voiced my opinions to the attendant (Not White) at the ticketing counter. He smiled at me and said, “I know.” [tweet]

I spent most of the flight reading the books of Matthew and Mark. When I arrived at LAX, I felt the calm that one can only achieve when returning home. I spent the afternoon playing with Lucky, listening to Michael, and doing work. Sunday night, I watched the first hour of the BET Awards and was touched by several performances including Jamie Foxx’s opening and Ne-Yo’s performance of Lady In My Life. The best line of the show: “I want to thank all the haters for giving me a reason to do it.” Wow T-Pain; so deep, so relevant.

The next week, I went to work, I went to church, and I caught up with my students, all while wearing my black fedora. On Thursday, a week after Michael left us, I made my pilgrimage to Neverland. We intended to camp but it was mostly a stop and go crowd. I touched the gates, reached out to other pilgrims, and headed back to LA.

The next morning, I waited anxiously for the press conference announcing the ticket process for the planned memorial. [tweet] Instead, they announced a worldwide lottery for 8,750 pairs of tickets. I began to reflect on the need for a worldwide lottery when it came to these coveted seats and posted the following:

michael jackson memorial registration complete: it took michael’s entire life for us to achieve a global communication system sufficient to handle his passing. musician, icon, humanitarian, superstar, communication revolutionary.

At this point, the negative coverage of Michael Jackson was seeping into my media system, and I found myself in defense mode. Threats against Michael were threats against me. A friend of a friend responded to the above post with the following: “And child molester. I’m content to remember only the man’s music. Open the door a lil wider and you let in some creepy ghosts.” After exchanges that involved Mos Def quotes and industry credentials, I responded, “What good does remembering his faults do? Tarnish people’s mourning process? And for what?” I felt pretty good about that.

The truth is that people who insist upon judging Michael Jackson are nothing more than haters. They don’t necessarily hate Michael Jackson; rather, they hate the fact that millions around the world are rallying to celebrate him. They hate the positivity that these people express because of Michael. They hate that Michael preached a message of love that was heard by audiences worldwide who forgave him for his bad decisions (the only available fact), and continued to welcome him into their homes and their lives [tweet]. The haters’ only goal is to snatch the joy from Michael’s fans and get coverage for themselves. I assume that they do not take pleasure in repeating these horrible accusations. But then again, maybe they do take pleasure in judging others, but that pleasure is rooted in the desire for evil thoughts and actions.

Today, en route to the Staples Center, a man got on my building elevator while I was trying to put on my golden (ticket) bracelet. He clearly saw the excitement on my face as I said, “We’re going to see Michael!” In an act of pure hate, he loudly vocalized a frustration with “the celebration of a pedophile.” I turned to him and said, “He was found not guilty, and Michael did more for children than you ever will!” I felt good about that too.

In the midst of the negative press, no one discusses the fact that Michael Jackson held the world record for most charities donated to by a pop star (thank you Kobe for that knowledge); no one discusses that he gave everything he had to help suffering children around the world; no one discusses that his accuser beat cancer because of the treatments that Michael Jackson paid for. Michael Jackson was one of the most giving people in the world who was forced out of the United States to Bahrain by endless judgments of his character, a character that none of the people judging him understood. [tweet]

This is not to say that I understand or can even begin to know Michael Jackson, but all of the accusations and facts are a matter of public record. We know what he was accused of; we know the evidence presented and therefore, there is no need to talk about what you think or believe happened. If it matters what one person thinks and believes about another person they do not know, then allow me to share what I think and believe.

I think and believe that Michael Jackson was an amazing human being. I think and believe that he had a talent unparalleled, and more importantly, his willingness to share that talent and himself with the world was beyond human. I think and believe that Michael Jackson was incapable of harming a child, but may be guilty of loving too much. The facts are written in the history books; my love for him is written on my heart. And that’s all that needs to be discussed.

[tweet]

it took michael’s entire life for us to acheive a global communication system sufficient to handle his passing. icon, humanitarian, superstar, communication revolutionary.

i was impressed with the press conference and the family decision to go with a worldwide lottery. jan perry really stood up and took charge in order to maintain the well being of my neighborhood. in the honor of michael and his family’s choice to make downtown LA a place of celebration, i have canceled my class and will be watching the service. fingers crossed for tickets!

michael jackson memorial

now only 48 hours of waiting…

because this is technically an endeavor about the role of media in constructing the psychology of self, i figured i should include my most recent exciting media moment. i posted this movie review of coraline (in 3D) on facebook.

“absolutely amazing in 3D. much like speed racer in IMAX, i don’t know if i could give it such an enthusiastic thumbs up had i see in it in standard film format. the 3D effects were used to immerse the audience in the story, instead of simply as a gimmick. well played.”

i don’t usually post movie comments on this site, however, the experience of current 3D technology has inspired me to expand my content. allow me to elaborate on my aforementioned coraline experience…

last weekend was the last weekend to catch coraline in 3D that, according to leonard maltin, “was the best movie [he’d ever seen] in 3D.” although 3D has yet to improve on the mild headache induced by the glasses, i was very impressed with its use naratively in the film. the stereoscopic-ness was employed to create a realistic environment. coraline as a film was exciting and really demonstrated an awareness of creepy family films that came before it (e.g., beetlejuice, nightmare before christmas, pan’s labyrinth).

i suppose i should admit here that i am easily scared and, despite my “grown person” status, i was scared at some point in all of the aforementioned films. with coraline, however, the fear response that i experienced was definitely more visceral due to, i believe, the effect of 3D, and this sensation increased over the course of the film as the narrative heightens the suspension of disbelief.
without spoiling the film, coraline is forced to crawl through a tunnel that looks very much like human intestines; as she is chased through this tunnel, the music, the narrative tension, and the actual perceived depth of the tunnel all combined to create a strangely disturbing experience for a 28-year-old woman in the theater.

then again, i’m the person who cried at lilo & stitch in 2002.

i’m intrigued as to other’s general experience with 3D films - do you actually perceive an increased sense of presence and physicality when watching a film in 3D? independent of the tricks like butterflies flying into and out of the screen, but is the overall experience of the film heightened?