themediamademecrazy.com

stacked outside doheny library:

a day in the life of an american revolutionary youth…

sometimes you’re happy
and sometimes you cry

half of me is ocean
and half of me is sky.

–Tom Petty “Walls”

recently i have been attending yoga at yoga circle in lovely downtown los angeles. although i have a gym in my building, the experience of walking through downtown, and entering a space designed to be an oasis from the urban hustle and bustle.

during the final pose of the day, savasana, we are encouraged to let the mind release all daily thoughts and meditate. during yesterdays savasana, i realized something.

all urban noise has a definite meaning: a car horn, sirens, screeching tires, people screaming, subway tracks, etc. each of these individuals sounds can be constructed to create a story of the environment without any visual stimulus whatsoever. alternatively, natural sounds are delightfully devoid of meaning. Wind through trees, a babbling brook, the sound of feet crunching leaves underneath. although these sounds may have meaning, they are not designed with an intention in mind. they allow for any and all meaning to be placed on them.

so listen to something natural, and derive some meaning (sensical or not). its good for the mind and soul. personally i like the jazz styles of the fountain in my yoga studio.

My experiment is based on a few assumptions:

1. Treatment often depends on different risks associated with each gender therefore the two groups can never be treated equally outside of a controlled environment.

2. Women tend to suffer from victimization and other such ego-destroying factors of life more often than men. Men can suffer from victimization as well, and this often changes their outlook on life in a similar way.

3. Psychotropic drugs (especially Prozac) alter the behavior of healthy individuals as well as depressed individuals. Slightly depressed individuals are easy to find anywhere in America.

4. Prozac changes an individual’s “emotional quotient” which can have a specific number associated to a subject. This somehow quantifies the personality.

5. In our new 15-minutes-of-fame world, people are more willing to have their lives drastically altered and video taped without thinking that it might be ethically wrong.

Study the effects of psychotropic drugs under controlled conditions. Collect a large sample group from different communities where moral and social upbringing of children is similar. My first consideration was the agricultural community in the mid west. Although I am making vast assumptions about how individuals are raised in this area of the country, I am suggesting this only as a starting point. The communities in this area of the country tend to be more homogenous than larger cities on the east coast.

Anyway, test these individuals for mental competency and physical ability as well as psychological status. The experimenters can regulate for major traumatic events that would interrupt their general social interactions. Take one person from each community so that when the entire subject population is complete, there is a lesser incidence of prior association. Gather the subject population and subject them to identical stimuli.

I do realize that this is ridiculous but each subject would have their own room, to decorate, as they feel comfortable and would live in single sex portions of a house. Or have two houses, one for males and one for females. They would suffer the same stimuli revolving around a 24-hour cycle. I foresee a schedule of this variety:

7am Wake up
8am Single Sex Breakfast
9am “Work” whatever that work is, be it learning or sewing wallets
Noon mixed lunch
1pm Work
4pm Social
6pm mixed dinner
8pm entertainment
11pm personal time lights out at 12.

Each subject would also participate in emotionally altering tests, varying in time during the day or if possible at the same time as well as regular psychological reviews. These individuals would be under the same personality shaping stimuli and all personal events would be monitored by a series of cameras.

Once the subjects have been standardized according to emotional quotient (variants in women according to sexual cycle would be accounted for; hopefully after a short period of time, the women’s menstrual cycles would become synched.), begin to administer Prozac (or any given psychotropic drug) and monitor changes in observable behavior as well as the quantified emotional quotient. In this experiment, gender in variable, and hormones the covariant (I think…).

I’m sure your next questions is, Charisse, how do you expect to do this?

Well, clearly it is a reality show.

a conversation that occured on wednesday night…

TJ: you know that black folks shouldn’t call other black folks ‘nigga’ right?
ME: well, unless they fuck you over…
TJ: true. niggas will fuck you over.

did the media make you crazy?
do you want to scream it from the rooftops?
while drunk in your swimsuit?

then join me for cocktails to celebrate the launch of themediamademecrazy.com v2.5 and charisse’s 25th on saturday, october 7 from 7-11pm.

feel free to bring your swimsuits, your talents, your instruments, your media (to be projected), and anything you’d like to contribute to the festivities (libations welcome).

I found a great article in The Economist this week summarizing “augmented cognition” otherwise known as “aug cog.” It is a technology that is being used by the armed services to reduce cognitive overload. It allows the computer to judge the users cognitive status of the user and adjust the incoming stimuli to reduce overload. For example, fighter pilots helmets can be equipped with sensors to distinguish when the brain is becoming overloaded which will then dim the interface, or lower the volume of incoming messages. It can also be seen on your computer, the computer will judge incoming material and decide whether it is appropriate to interrupt your current activity for an alert. “Aug Cog” is also used in video games to ensure that the player’s difficult rating stays elevated (ensuring an enjoyable experience) but avoids becoming overwhelming or cognitively overloading.

With the capture of Warren Jeffs, head of the Fundamental Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (FLDS), the discussion was raised as to how polygamy can affect the population at large. Generally speaking, I feel that what consenting adults choose to do is there problem, however, the fact that he was arrange marriages between older men and 14-year-olds is pretty disturbing. However, the issue I want to raise is the abandonment of young men in order to eliminate the competition from the older members of the community. This behavior is common in elephant seals where the “bachelors” are ostracized from the herd and may never get the chance to mate. If this is prevalent in nature, what is the best solution to deal with it in human society? Once again, “the limiting factor is females” (Dawkins), and I feel that the community would serve as an excellent example for the mating habits of humans and the human demand to detach itself from primal urges.

For decades, millions of men and women in the region had been trapped in oppression and hopelessness. And these conditions left a generation disillusioned and made this region a breeding ground for extremism.

Imagine what it’s like to be a young person living in a country that is not moving toward reform. You’re 21 years old, and while your peers in other parts of the world are casting their ballots for the first time, you are powerless to change the course of your government.

While your peers in other parts of the world have received educations that prepare them for the opportunities of a global economy, you have been fed propaganda and conspiracy theories that blame others for your country’s shortcomings.

And everywhere you turn, you hear extremists who tell you that you can escape your misery and regain your dignity through violence and terror and martyrdom.

–President Bush Speaks to UN General Assembly [TRANSCRIPT]

The irony of Bush’s speeches amazes me every time. At some point, Bush will attack the “enemy” for behavior that can be found on his own soil. Millions of Americans have been “trapped in oppression and hopelessness” for decades; less than half of indivduals 18-25 turn out to vote; instead of properly improving our education system, we blame outsourcing and immigration for taking American jobs; and the last time I checked, the slogan for the American military switched from “Be All You Can Be” to “An Army of One.”

My attempt is not to bore you with some extended diatribe on “what is art?” you can get that kind of conversation in your local Starbucks. Instead my question is: When does art become media? When does media become art? And which is more valuable to a people?

Feminist studies, especially in critical studies, seek to discover how the community and the male authority figures within have conditioned women. One of the most disturbing observations that I learned in my studies is that women are conditioned to look down and away when they meet the eyes of man [insert proper reference]. I become frustrated whenever I catch myself doing it. Similarly, I despise when I respond to catcalls or the occasional “psst psst” on the street. I now make a concerted effort not to break eye contact when I see someone on the street, despite my discomfort. I’d like to break myself from that conditioned behavior.

(con·di·tion·ing) (kon-dish-un-ing) 1. learning in which a stimulus initially incapable of evoking a certain response acquires the ability to do so by repeated pairing with another stimulus that does elicit the response.

Living in downtown Los Angeles, I think that the conditioning occurring between individuals in the area to be particularly intriguing. It is a melting pot of young urban professionals and homeless; two groups that, under normal conditions, would remain separate and relatively ignorant of the other’s position. However, in the burgeoning community that is young, urban, professional Downtown Los Angeles, these two groups find themselves in a daily clash that should pit class against class, but instead it has become a very plain sort of interaction. For the most part, the upper classes in the area ignore the homeless, despite their attempts to draw their attention.

Both are “residents” of Downtown, attempting to live, work and play in Downtown LA (neighborhood slogan). Many of the paying residents have settled into a way of dealing with the regular interruptions into their relatively privileged life. I try to be as pleasant as possible, knowing fully well that the homeless begging me for change have a hard life, and I don’t want to add further stress. I usually respond with “I’m sorry” or “Not today.” However, I do know many individuals that will curse out the homeless, in an attempt to condition them into not asking for money. Alternatively, they are seeking to condition me to feel sorry for their situation in order to evoke an emotion that might cause me to donate. This seems to be the overarching goal of homeless (or any industry for that matter), and the only way I see to resolve it is to donate to the homeless shelters around town to ensure that I am doing my part without encouraging the negative habits of the homeless in my neighborhood.

i was watching a home improvement show on TLC* and the head of the project was wearing a shirt that read:

“F is for FOSHIZZLE”

i was appaled. nevermind the fact that he was a late-thirties white dude desperate to be hip wearing a shirt that was too tight but showed off the muscles that he tried to maintain as his body slowly faded. rather i was appaled at the strange bastardization of black american lexicon. by including the actual “for” in the line, the inherent poor grammar of the term is somehow corrected, te slang becomes proper and standardized.

i don’t care if S is fo’Shizzle… F is Foshizzle.

this morning i missed the bus because i was talking on the phone. i watched three F buses go by and i made a decision to take a cab. when i crossed the street and looked up, another F bus was coming down the road! i got to campus and i left my water bottle in my statistics classroom. i suppose i lucked out with the bus issue and i had to let the water go…

i am currently in new zealand, a county rich in maori culture. maori means ‘of the same race’ that is to say that the polynesians who occupied the land centuries ago may have come from different nations and different cultures, but they are now of one culture in NZ. evidently, with the european settlers, NZ became one of the first major tourists spots, with maori opening their homes and the culture to travelers from distant lands.

200 years later, as globalization and capitalism have ransacked the world, the maori maintain a strong connection to their cultural heritage and continue performing for tourists. which then begs the question, what is the meaning of exploitation? if these people willingly open their homes for tourists, can it be considered exploitation?

the lets go guide warns the backpacker to avoid exploitative performances, but how do you know which is which? the first night in lake rotorua, we visited mitai, a cultural experience hosted by one of the tribes in the region. their land (12 acres, down from almost 200,000) features a sacred spring, a eating house and a hangi pit, where the food is cooked underground for hours before the feast. i was excited to visit this one as the guide said that this was one of the best cultural shows. while i sat there marveling at the haka and poi, i did not feel like i was exploiting the people. the tribe organized the show and were the only ones to profit from it. the performers were teenagers from the tribe and i really felt like i was simply watching an important part of the people, passing tradition from one generation to another. everyone looked like they were truly enjoying themselves, and it wasn’t work, just an opportunity to share what they knew with others.

the next night, we caught a “cultural show” at the hotel. the entire set was drastically different; while the mitai show featured (what i can only assume to be traditional) huts and weapons, the show at the hotel was performed in front of a poorly painted mural of the lake and a plexiglass hut that was half the size of the smallest performer. the performers seemed to go through the motions, rarely did they smile (save one young boy) or really seem to get into the affair. i felt bad watching from my comfortable seat drinking a glass of wine. i simply could not get into the experience. whereas we went to the tribal grounds to immerse ourselves in the mitai culture, the hotel simply pulled the maori out of their “natural environment” and dropped them into a hotel, demanding that they perform the same way that they would if they were at home.

in the end, i highly recommend the mitai show. at least i know that there isn’t some white man making a hefty profit off of my ticket.

i’m currently watching the newshour with jim leher and they are running a feature on president mahmoud ahmadinejad of iran and his latest comments against the nation of israel and a video that features the president drinking tea in a traditional manner with some fundamentalist leaders after giving a speech on his reformist political status.

so let me get this straight…

there is a religious fundamentalist taking over the presidency of iran… mmm… sounds familiar.

he also laid indirect accusations against the united states to the effect, “how dare you restrict us with accusations of biochemical weapons when you have the largest stockpile? when you have used them before?”

this ought to be interesting, although i’m not certain if many will draw the connection. however, one of the lines from the newshour feature stated this…

“just like fundamentalists christians… fundamentals muslims believe that the mahdi will come in the form of an apocalypse.”

On November 10, I submitted a paper examining whether physical immersion could induce psychological immersion. I reminisced about hours upon enlightening hours spent in Tep 23 and Warehouse 23, resulting in a very personal article. Three days later, I received the news. The man who had redefined my reality in almost every way possible, was gone.

I met Frostbyte in November of 1998 and spent countless hours in his company over the next year, eventually leaving MIT and moving into his warehouse in the fall of 1999. Frostbyte knew everything about everything and he made it his nightly duty to ensure the health and well being of his guests. He was an artist, a true immersive artist who, through countless methods, created environments to make others smile. For many of us, we know that Frostbyte’s smile was a special occasion. Often, he seemed too stressed to enjoy his own creations (although I am certain he derived pleasure from said stress) but, at some point in the evening, I would tap him on the shoulder and he would snap his head around, and smile at me. It was the biggest, most genuinely beautiful smile. His smile was infectious and made me forget everything else.

His home was more than a room or an apartment; it was a medium with which to create, a gallery to showcase said creations, and an amusement park for anyone ventured into his nest. At TEP, he filled 23 with hundreds of lights: traffic lights, neon twists, even an upside down plastic penguin, all of which flickered in perfect synch for his light shows. My request was always “Over the Hills and Far Away.” When the lights came down in 23, it was as if my entire freshman year had been a dream, it was as if our nights of pure bliss had never happened, it was as if the room was nothing more than a phantasm, a glorious figment of my imagination… until he developed the warehouse on Congress St.

Finally, he had all the space he needed to create an alternate universe. Stumbling from room to room, his visitors walked through mazes, projections, paintings, sculptures and other visitors. Frostbyte occupied a space that demanded more bodies; his visitors were integral to his work and his existence. He was far from antisocial, rather desperately social, and offered up his home and his self for the pleasure of others; he ensured that his visitors were comfortable, happy, and above all, satisfied.

Frostbyte did everything he could to make others smile, and, on more than one occasion, he saved me from myself. I loved him very much, as I know we all did. He altered my life and taught me to love myself as much as he loved me. I believe that Gladys Knight said it the best…

“I’d rather live in his world than live without him in mine.”

Some people consider me narcissistic

nar-cis-sism (n.)

1. Excessive love or admiration of oneself. See Synonyms at conceit .

2. A psychological condition characterized by self-preoccupation, lack of empathy, and unconscious deficits in self-esteem.

3. Erotic pleasure derived from contemplation or admiration of one’s own body or self, especially as a fixation on or a regression to an infantile stage of development.

4. The attribute of the human psyche characterized by admiration of oneself but within normal limits.

Ok. I am narcissistic. I realized about ten minutes ago that I am in love with my own image. I know that this will seem obvious to some of you but I was looking at my DVD cover and I realized that I really like my image. I daresay that I love my image.

But more importantly, I love the image that I have created of myself. And I find this to be a worthwhile endeavor, since I spent so much of my life despising an image that I could not control. My narcissism is not that of conceit, but a comprehensive exploration into how I view myself and how others view me.

Well, that and the fact that I am really hot. [smile]

I’m currently watching “Tommy Lee Goes to College” a new half hour reality sitcom on NBC featuring Tommy Lee as a freshman at University of Nebraska. This show is another program in what I deem to be a recent trend of academic television.

Originating with the celebrity success of Ken Jennings on “Jeopardy” and continuing on with ABC’s “The Scholar,” and the WB’s “Beauty and the Geek,” network television has recently embraced smart celebrities. Even Tommy Lee’s wife, Pamela Anderson, starred in her own academic sitcom, “Stacked.”

NOTE: Perhaps it originated with the intellectual component of Survivor…

I’m not certain whether this is a fad or indicative of a general trend towards an acceptance of the academic as cool. Of course I do my best to incorporate an attractive, pop appeal to the academic stereotype and I think that most of these shows are trying to do the same. On the other hand, education is something that everyone is capable and should be pursued by a larger percentage of the population. By having successful pop stars pursue an education and by making academics celebrities, the media seems to be pushing an agenda to encourage academic pursuits. I guess we’ll see if he gets past his freshman year…

On the plus side, Tommy Lee has an incredibly sexy chemistry tutor. I wish I had one when I failed 5.11 the first time.

“What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to the soul.” –Joseph Addison

I have recently been embroiled in a not-to-pleasant conversation about race. It has caused me to recognize at what point race became an issue in my life.

My family is of all different colors and race has never been an issue for me. I think my earliest recollection of recognizing my race was when I had to check the little boxes for college applications. I delighted in checking as many as possible. When I visited MIT, I was placed next door to Chocolate City, an independent living group. I had a blast and seriously considered living there. I moved into Senior House instead and never regretted it even though I did feel somewhat ostracized from the black community.

During my freshman year, things were difficult for me academically, and I began to think that the only reason I was accepted at MIT was my race. Although I blamed my inabilities solely on myself, I recognized the commodity of ethnicity. By getting into MIT, I became a ‘credit to my race.’

Even amidst this segregation, racism was never a talking point.

The day that I recognized, experienced, and emotionally suffered from racism took place years later, riding the train home from NYC. I sat on the commuter rail next to two white men; one was drinking a plastic wide mouth bottle of Budweiser and the other was working on two gin and tonics. The two men are discussing their sons…

BUD: My boy blah, blah, blah.

GIN: Yeah, my boy blah, blah, blah.

BUD: I was talking to Jim the other day and he was telling me about his son, how his son does blah, blah, blah, and I’m thinking to myself, ‘at least my son isn’t doing drugs and fucking niggers.’

I was shocked; I was appalled. I felt a soreness in my gut that wasn’t there before. I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t know what to do; all I could do was sit there, helpless. I was a fully conscious, intelligent, grown human being and that was the first time that I felt slapped in the face by racism.

Since then, it’s as if I travel in a completely different world. My reality has changed. Even though I saw racism (I daresay I am a product of it), it wasn’t until this moment that I understood.

I began to think about other moments in my life; they came back like a flood of unexplainable pain. My first boyfriend didn’t want to take me to thanksgiving dinner because he thought his family might make inappropriate comments. My next boyfriend didn’t introduce me to his extended family, and vocalized that it might be a problem that I wasn’t white. Alternatively, my grandfather owned a chicken farm in Guyana and the locals used to hollar at me on the street, asking for a piece of white meat.

I took the black pill and the world has never been the same.

The WB network is introducing a new reality show tonight from executive producer ashton kutcher called beauty and the geek where they pair up a series of incredibly geeky men with beautiful dumb supermodels and watch the hilarity ensue…

where do i begin?

first of all i am remarkably offended by the program. it only reinforces the binary that geeks can not be beautiful. it perpetuates the beautiful dumb blonde stereotype, blonde brunette or otherwise, of women. women are never given the chance to be beautiful AND intelligent. i just feel frustrated by the fact that sexy smart women don’t exist in our mediated televisual reality.

and they seem to have gotten some of the geekiest men to be a part of this project, not to mention that everyone involved is white. i guess that ethnic individuals are cursed with an atavistic sexuality that cannot be considered geeky.

the most frustrating thing to me is the fact that i really enjoy ashton kutcher’s work. i own dude where’s my car, i have watched that seventies show since the beginning and have shared my critical thoughts on the direction of the program and its use of race and the absent father. granted i didn’t shell out money for ‘just married’ or ‘a lot like love’ but i did see the butterfly effect in theaters, which i thought was a great movie for his star persona. either way, i have a great amount of respect for kutcher, and his executive producer credit on this program hurts in my soul.

i figure as a stereotypical pretty boy who has performed in projects that both ironically embrace and deny it, i would expect him to recognize the disgusting stereotypes and clichés that are continued with this program.

but then again, ratings are money and maybe its just television. plus extreme individuals create extreme situations, which breeds humor, not intelligent messages and behavior. but i can assure you that any intelligent individual, more importantly any intelligent woman, will be offended and disgusted with the program.

shame on you ashton. you know better.

although i think it would make me smile to see the exact same program with the gender roles switch, sexy Abercrombie and Fitch men paired up with female phd’s and ceo’s.

i just caught the mos def envoy denali commercial as part of GMC’s new ‘diversity campaign’:

Forbes Article: GMC’s Diversity Campaign

does no one find this offensive but me? mos, once the pillar of anti establshment, is now commodifying his place as a hip-hop icon to sell trucks for GMC? i’m surprised they didn’t have him peddling cadillac escalades. he doesn’t need the money, the article in forbes goes on to talk about all of the projects that he is currently involved in. GMC has also establshed a hispanic campaign, although i haven’t seen any of those yet. i guess its time to tap markets that have no problem spending money on useless status symbols. fight the power my ass.

what happened to rising above the fray mos?

i’ve developed an affection for upn’s girlfriends.

i think its better than sex in the city…

there i said it.

it all came to me last night when i was watching the materialist girlfriend analyze her whirlwind marriage to a man she has recently discovered is $750,000 in debt. in order to maintain her life status, she decides to leave him. in her soliloquy she says…

“being poor in LA is wearing round-toed shoes in a pointy-toed season.”

i’ve developed an affection for upn’s girlfriends.

i think its better than sex in the city…

there i said it.

it all came to me last night when i was watching the materialist girlfriend analyze her whirlwind marriage to a man she has recently discovered is $750,000 in debt. in order to maintain her life status, she decides to leave him. in her soliloquy she says…

“being poor in LA is wearing round-toed shoes in a pointy-toed season.”

i went to a beautiful african art gallery last week, Dafco’s on mammaroneck ave in white plains, NY. i walked in to find beautiful african masks, artistic pieces labeled according to their origin, fantastic african art. the owner of the store walked out from the back office and offered the history of the work and their cultural significance. it was moving.

as i walked to the back of the store, i looked over the entrance to the office. there, just above eye level, but only visible to those exiting the office, was a massive painting of a beautiful naked white woman.

a naked white woman. pink nipples and all…

i was shocked. here i am, reveling in african beauty, entrenched in culture and black appreciation and the owner of the store gazes at a picture of a naked white woman every time he comes out to greet his customers. i didn’t know whether to laugh or be absolutely disgusted.

i believe it was blackstar who admitted…

“I like girls with that light complexion… i’m a victim of 400 years of conditioning”

apparently there was an explosion in NY outside the british consulate. why is this not front page news on CNN and NYTimes.com?

that’s right, because its 13 hours old.

it has already been eclipsed by the runaway bride story and the elvis movie on CBS this weekend respectively.

how is this possible? according to john hartley’s essay “the frequencies of public writing,” he states that the internet has caused us to become less interested in detailed stories, rather we just move from one to another at a pace that does not allow for contemplation. because the story is 13 hours old (mind you today the UK also saw the parlimentary elections that reelected Blair but weakened his labor party), there is no reason to maintain or expand it. i believe that the assumption is that everyone who needs to know already knows. how can that make sense?

then when i search for it on google, the top stories are coming from The Scotsman and Forbes…
try it sometime, its amusing.

i have just completed my paper on the emergence of the single city girl in american culture between 1960-1975. it was amazing, i got the chance to discover and develop the stereotype that i aspire to be, a single city girl living in los angeles, progressing my own career and finding some interesting, attractive boys to take me out to dinner every so often. things are working well, and the paper only manged to confirm the life that i chose to live and the contradictions inherent within.

the ulitimate quote of the single city girl is from helen gurley brown’s “sex and the single girl” (1962):

romance is a reward for, but secondary to, perfecting oneself.

the irony of this statement is unbelieveable, here is the footnote at the very bottom of my paper:

The irony of this statement is not lost on me, I was just uncertain of how to integrate it into the paper. Even though the post-feminist single girl is living for herself and does not want for a husband, the original philosophy promotes self-improvement for the end goal of marriage. And this ironic twist is often the culmination of the single girl’s pursuits (see the conclusion of Sex In the City) Brown does not recognize, nor do most of the single city girls portrayed on television, that self-improvement can be a reward unto itself. Rather, improving one for oneself becomes lip service for the ideology of the cause; that we as single, independent women do not need men.

check out the paper at:

Creating Stereotypes: The Emergence and Commodification of the Single City Girl

The pope has passed.

The ceremonies around the world have begun. Many of them are not in English, but nonetheless, instead of talking about the pope’s legacy, tell me what is going on around the world right now! I would like to know what this ceremony is taking place in Rome, in Poland and around the world. But no, I can only see the images and listen to the pundits swap stories about the pope that I’ve heard five times already in the past three days [sigh].

Ok. CNN now has a live feed from St. Peter’s cathedral in NY. The archbishop of NY is giving a sermon recounting the pope’s assassination and his immediate act of forgiving his attempted assassin. Before the archbishop is even done, we cut back to Paula [sad face]. I was starting to feel emotional spirit come through the television…

As much as I hate to say it, FOXNews may be the only live feed from St. Matthew’s Cathedral in DC, therefore…

Thank you FOXNews.

At the moment there is an emergency meeting of congress to discuss to future of Terry Schiavo. I will not discuss my issues with that to begin with, I’ll leave it for thousands of other bloggers, although it seems ridiculous to me that this is even going onto a higher court and so much effort is being placed on this one woman, personally I think that the parents’ desperate desire to keep her alive is a selfish act.

But this is about the news networks covering the debate. Right now, at this moment, our elected officials are conducting a debate on the floor of congress; it is a Sunday afternoon, millions of people are sitting down after dinner, turning to this major story. Instead of allowing us to watch our representatives debate, we watch pundits debate the issues of what is being discussed on the floor! The worst part is that they leave the video running on half of the screen on mute! So you know that there is a debate, a real, political debate going on, but that’s not important, the stupid fucking inane punditry is more important. Moreover you know that these pundits aren’t even watching the debate, they’re talking over it as if they’ve already seen it and have come to conclusions.

Unfortunately my building provides only C-SPAN2, not C-SPAN1, so I can’t even watch it there, on top of that, my computer is suffering from a broken headphone jack so I can’t hear anything online either [sigh]. I hate new media when it doesn’t work for me.

And just to top it all off, they don’t put the names of the representatives up when they do allow them audio time. Rather they continue to print the banner “house vote on schiavo bill expected within minutes.”

So I went to this show at The Mint last night and, well I starting getting very angry and depressed. Now that I think back over it, I was PMS-ing, so that probably had a lot to do with my emotional overreaction.

There were so many beautiful white women there that I began to feel, well…

Imperfect.

Welcome to LA where image towers over substance and I began thinking, it really doesn’t matter how much substance you have or what you have to offer, if your image isn’t perfect, you don’t have a chance. And my image will never be perfect because I’m not white. I guess I’ve been doing too much work in the area of race lately, race and beauty:

Race Ethnicity and Beyond

I became consumed by this last night, and began having overly emotional intelligent discussions, which often degrade into me hating society’s expectations and my inability to meet them. I began to bandy about the term “pretty white girl.’ I guess I’m writing this because I feel slightly guilty about it. I didn’t realize that “pretty white girl” could be a derogatory statement, especially when that’s what I wanted for the longest time.

Or maybe subconsciously I recognized that it was a derogatory statement, and I used it inappropriately in a bully fashion to hype myself up. Either way, it was wrong.

I realize now that “pretty white girls” recognize their position as such and what that means in our culture. Yeah, postmodern self-reflexivity! Funny how most of the things we desire most, are the things that other people are desperate to be free of. I think maybe I was just intimidated by them.

It’s a shame too because I started to have a potentially amazing conversation with a smart, sexy woman, who happened to be white. I think I opened with a confrontational statement, but that was the Jagermeister talking [smile]. Hopefully she’ll forgive me because I’m terribly interested in the experience of the Other.

NOTE: The Other is a psychoanalytical term which states that the Other is not the Self, which can exist with respect to all aspects of identity including gender, race, sexuality, etc.

Definition of the Other

I think I want to start integrating this term into my lexicon as a cultural studies term. My Google search has yielded only logic definitions. At the moment, my working cultural studies definition is this:

The consumption assumption assumes that first and foremost, we are consumers. Above all else, ethnicity, class, religion, occupation or location, we are consumers. This assumption is used regularly; it plays off of our most internalized needs and desires (many of which are media-induced) and encourages us to behave in certain ways. In the same way that being a dedicated New Englander may cause one to drop $500 on Red Sox World Series Tickets, or being a dedicated father causes one to purchase a new home security system; being a dedicated consumer causes us to be particularly affected by advertising that plays on our desire to consume, and little else.

Please respond with any and all thoughts or offerings.

i’ve been going a little crazy lately. i’ve been over exposed to media. and i cannot escape it, we live in a media saturdated society. even as i write this, i am sitting in front of my television consuming my regular 3 hours a day, jeopardy, simpsons, american idol and 24. and supposedly this is relaxing.

i guess jeopardy is relaxing…

anyway, i’m immersed in media and i don’t feel like i can ever really relax. i’m planning on going some kind of spa where i hear nothing but pan flutes for a week.

but i wrote a haiku the other night that i’ve been contemplating on…

media absorbs
me engulfs me consumes me
without media.

For my television seminar, we were required to document a “media diary.” Record your consumption of any and all media in a 24-hour time period. You’ll be amazed at the amount of media you actually consume without even recognizing it. Unfortunately, since I study media, I am never really separated from it. I make a concerted effort to go swimming once a week so that I could be sans media for at least half an hour (50 laps).

Some of the highlights from my media diary:
1. I wake up to CNN Live every morning.
2. I take the bus, therefore I get to view the ads inside (which are disturbingly focused on a much poorer consumer than the outside advertising)
3. DTLA is filled with massive storefronts and billboards advertising stores. Although you may skip over this as media, each of these storefronts are strategically fashioned to entice you into the store.
4. Reading The Economist on the roof of my building.
5. Jeopardy.

Feel free to read more of my media diary at

My Media Diary

Please try this and post your observations.

i just caught a new commercial for mcdonalds featuring an attractive young black woman eating salad. the voice over is spoken word poetry, often confused with rap or hip hop. the sound of the commerical is something straight out of blackalicious, “nia” or sarah jones. this young woman is extolling the virtues of mcdonalds’ salads and their spirtitual influence, “how they affect me within.”

it is remarkable the commodification around all hip hop culture including spoken word poetry which tends to be a little too ephermal for comercials. frankly i was quite turned off by the entire thing, this aspect of hip hop for me is the most personal, and least marketable component. it is usually featured in small coffeehouses (nyoricans in NY) or def poetry jam, performed by individuals desperate for expression, hungry to change the world around them.

here, it is selling mcdonalds salads…

the final line for me was the most disturbing…

“green is the new black”

we are no longer talking about black as fashion, we are talking about black as culture. green is not only the color of salad, but the color of money. “green is the new black”

money is our new culture.

but i’m sure you knew that already.

SUNDAY – JANUARY 16, 2005

8-10 pm FOX Sunday Night (Simpsons, Arrested Development, Family Guy x2)
- FOX post-Superbowl television: new Simpsons episode, new series: American Dad (integrating into media ritual, ensure attentive audience after ‘the big game’)
- Family based sitcoms: all white families – representative of dysfunctional family (thank you FOX!)
Yahoo! Online Euchre (online card game)
- Constant streaming ads: music, movies, other games, mortgaging home, win a free iPod…
10-11 pm Golden Globes
- Alerted to this program by FOX local news
- Reminded by CNN carpet coverage
o Joan and Melissa Rivers on Larry King Live (next day Colin Powell)
- Jamie Foxx acceptance speech: Applauds Ray as a “beautiful black film”
o Mainstream has made it no longer a “Black film” but a piece of American culture. Ray’s role in American culture independent of role as Black icon?
- Commercial: McDonald’s dependence on its integration into American life for its ads
- News on CBS comes on after the Golden Globes, regardless of time, accounting for this media ritual
- Turn out the lights, watch the rest of the awards ceremony in the dark in bed, reminded of movie going experience, seems appropriate as most of the awards are for outstanding films.
- Auteur in TV? Executive producer accepts GG and speaks first even though everyone is on stage.
- Set alarm on TV: 7 am, CNN

MONDAY – JANUARY 17, 2005

7-8 am CNN Live

8-9 am Swimming – Sans media!
- I had originally planned on running, in which case I usually watch CNN on the television in the exercise room
- Pool is on the roof, I cannot see the billboards in DTLA, most face south on Figueroa, not blocked by the buildings

9-10 am Online Euchre – streaming ads
- Read Boondocks Comic strip online (http://www.ucomics.com/boondocks)
- Post personal pictures online
- Peruse friends’ websites
- Add to Blog (http://themediamademecrazy.blogspot.com)

10-1 pm Research work (studying multimedia effects on education and learning processes)
- Online Euchre
- Check email

1-2 pm Jerry Springer
- Watch first 20 minutes, tape for class, mute TV while doing work
- I often leave the TV on mute, it provides an unobtrusive presences while I work, otherwise, I listen to classical music

2-3 pm Cosby Show (record for class, turn off TV)
- Continue doing work

3-4 pm Lunch: California Pizza Kitchen take out (three blocks from home)
- Listening to iPod
- Walking downtown (storefronts, taxis, buses)
- Sides of buildings – giant ads
o Are storefronts and marquees considered advertising? It is conveying a message and trying to attract customers
o New restaurant opening on first floor of my building, advertising in the windows, also blocking construction.
- Bus Ads
o Cheaper space is inside (accident lawyers, learning extension programs, money loans, etc.); people who ride the bus clearly do not have major disposable income, but everyone sees the bus as it drives down the street.
- Lunch on roof of building – Reading Economist
o Ads not visible from roof, I face south.

4-430 pm Girlfriends for class (tape/watch)

430-7 pm School work (reading about media)

7-730 pm Jeopardy

730-8 pm Simpsons
- Set TV to record Unforgivable Blackness (Jack Johnson biography)

TYPICAL DAY?
I don’t think that this was a typical day, I usually take the bus to and from school (four days a week) and on those days we usually have viewings in class. Also, some of the viewings were specifically because I was presenting in class, I have never watched a full girlfriends episode, nor to I regularly tune into Jerry Springer (anymore). On school days, I also carry and iPod. This Monday was different because I chose not to listen to the radio while I did school work; I typically listen to the classical channel because I cannot take in two textual streams at once. On weekends, I tend to leave CNN or MSNBC on mute while I do my work for a little company.

BEHAVIOUR PATTERNS
This is a typical graduate school pattern for me. I don’t get to watch so much television anymore because I cannot read and watch TV at the same time. Now I watch television intentionally, i.e. I turn on the television only when I’m expecting to watch something. In my undergrad and high school years, I would sit in front of the TV, and or computer and do my work (in high school, I spent most of that time on the phone as well).

WHAT IS MEDIA?
I tried to include everything possible (even the things that I usually see that I might have missed this day) including the discussions about the storefronts and other various advertising around DTLA. In one of my readings for one of my classes (they all blend together nowadays), I read that advertising takes three forms, broadcast, print and storefronts or direct advertising.

MEDIA CHOICES
Once again, I take in media intentionally as I find it difficult to multi task. I make the conscious choice to turn on the television when I’m expecting a program (which unfortunately leads to me missing a lot of things I had originally intended to watch) and turn it off when I have something else to do (usually work). Although Sunday was a prime example of what causes me to jump channels, just a reminder that I’m missing something that I had intended to watch.

PURPOSEFUL AND ENJOYABLE
I try to make my media consumption always enjoyable. Although being in grad school for media studies has caused me to overload slightly on media. This diary has made me realize that I’m constantly consuming media even when I’m not consuming media, unless I’m swimming or sleeping. I made a conscious break in my Monday when I went swimming and chose to read The Economist on the roof. My TV habits I also see as a break in the forced media consumption of schoolwork and research. I get to sit back and watch Jeopardy while I’m making dinner or just relaxing. I ended up watching the Golden Globes as a part of schoolwork as I knew that we would be discussing it at some point.

UNCOMFORTABLE ACTIVITIES
I’m not too uncomfortable with my media consumption activities but I probably wouldn’t include the other, personal tasks that I conduct while I’m watching my TV. It’s my private space at home and I know that the TV isn’t watching back if I’m wandering around my apartment in my underwear.

PERSONALITY, RELATIONSHIPS, SOCIO-CULTURAL BACKGROUND, INCOME LEVEL, RLEIGION, PERSONAL BELIEFS
I think that my choice to watch FOX Sunday night television says something about my personality. Those shows are marketed to a select demographic, young, college educated slackers (I mean slackers as an attitude, not as an occupation). Most of my time is spent alone in my apartment doing work or consuming media, so it’s clear that I don’t have a boyfriend. I’m not sure what it says about my socio cultural background, the fact that I have an iPod clearly denotes me as an active consumer but in LA this might be contrasted with the fact that I take the bus daily. The fact that I don’t go to work is acceptable and not really questions since we’re all students. As for religion, I don’t think that it says much, although if I had started earlier on Sunday, it would documented that I did not go to church. Waking up to CNN in the morning and reading The Economist makes obvious my political inclinations.

Its now just after midnight on Christmas, 2004 and I’m sitting here at my computer in front of the television watching my mother clean up for tomorrow. And I’m thinking…

I got into a long conversation with a young man at the MIT holiday party, I told him that Christmas usually pisses me off because I can’t stand to have holiday cheer rammed down my throat 24 hours a day for 2 months a year. He then started asking me what about Christmas I didn’t like. The truth is that Christmas is fine with me, I have no problem with the theory, or the celebration, I’m just sick of the sales and the disgusting commercialization of Christmas, I know it will never change, but there is no reason for me to deal with it.

Then I stopped to think, this year I have been fairly removed from the Christmas spectacle. I have not really turned on my television and usually mute it during the commercials, by removing myself from the inundation of Christmas, I find that i really enjoy the little bits of Christmas that I am exposed to. I had to watch the Nick and Jessica Family Christmas special, it reminded me what of Christmas I don’t really like, the racial isolationism, the crass commercialization all disguised has family cheer. This couple has taken their family cheer and commodified it in order to sell advertising spots. but nonetheless, Jessica’s performance of “oh night divine” made me tear up.

But there is one commercial running at the moment, for Verizon wireless celebrating “chrismahanakwanzakah.” I really like the approach that they piece takes, doing their absolute best to merge all faiths and ethnicities, it starts off with a well dressed elderly black man, cuts to a couple of Hassidic Jews at a piano then to an Indian Santa Claus (with turban). It also features a Buddhist monk and a poor child right out of Oliver Twist. The only white woman in the commercial is essentially naked with a giant cell phone covering her business. I’m not sure exactly what that means or how it can be interpreted, thoughts?

I’d also like to note, that in their desperate attempt to include all ethnicities, races and beliefs, Christmas is still the first religion represented in the merged title.

so i’m taking a break from work (bad charisse) and watching nbc’s ‘the apprentice,’ when it started i rationalized that these were some of the smartest people on television and its a show that’s not about sex… rather its about money, and real business decisions.

today’s task was to make and sell m&m’s M-Azing bars. there were 2 girls on one team, and 2 boys and a girl on the other team, the three person team made 323 bars and sold them all for a profit of $500, the other two girls made 290 and sold them for a profit of over $1000. they dressed up in cute red tops and denim skirts and sold the bars for $5 a piece. the other team sold them for a dollar a piece, so the chick on 3 person team decided to start selling them for $20 and dropped her skirt.

dropped her skirt…

no i understand the need to win by any means necessary but there is no way that kind of behavior is going to swing. and i was just thinking about how these folks were the smartest people on television. does she actually believe that trump is going to want his ceo dropping trou’ in public for some extra money? i guess we’ll find out soon…

Don’t wanna be an American idiot.
Don’t want a nation under the new mania.
And can you hear the sound of hysteria?
The subliminal mind fuck America.

Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alienation.
Everything isn’t meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We’re not the ones who’re meant to follow.
For that’s enough to argue.

Well maybe I’m the faggot America.
I’m not a part of a redneck agenda.
Now everybody do the propaganda.
And sing along in the age of paranoia.

Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alienation.
Everything isn’t meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We’re not the ones who’re meant to follow.
For that’s enough to argue.

i’m watching wolf blitzer discussing 9/11 intelligence reform. there are two women featured, susan rice from brookings institution and danielle pletka from the american enterprise institute. pletka was on cnn way too often during the election spitting republican spin. i had already decided i hate her. but i’m sitting here listening to her now discuss non-election topics, and i don’t mind. admittedly i still disagree with a lot of what she has to say, but at least now she’s not being a cold, bitter angry bitchy republican… we don’t need more than one ann coulter.

although i believe that cnn has not drastically improved its format, although i may now be more willing to watch crossfire, there might be sensible, civilized disucssion. course, maybe they’ll just find something else to bitch and bicker about.

so i was watching local news today (i didn’t feel like getting off the bike) and they showed footage from someone who lit themselves on fire outside the white house this afternoon, around 2 in the afternoon. i haven’t heard anything about it on CNN, i saw the footage, i saw the burned body on the ground with emergency workers all around it, but i haven’t heard a lick on CNN…

they keep showing the footage from the questionable execution of iraqisby american troops…

so… self immolation? i thought maybe it was an american making a statement, similar to the fellow who committed suicide at ground zero. but according to the CNN blurb, he was yelling in arabic ‘god is great’.

i don’t know. i’m just amazed, and if you haven’t heard, its worth knowing.